The Forever Alone Film Club

Films to watch, for the forever alone.
I saw this movie over the weekend with some friends and the general consensus between the guys were: that was great! The girls: meh. Not sure why, but hey ho.
Hugely character driven, every actor in this film plays their role to a tee, especially the two female leads. And if you’re expecting a film where everything is explained, then this isn’t what you’re after.
7/10 - would have been 8/10, but the last 5 minutes of gushy Hollywood bullshit knock it down a point. It was doing so well until that point.
IMDB // Wikipedia // Rotten Tomatoes

I saw this movie over the weekend with some friends and the general consensus between the guys were: that was great! The girls: meh. Not sure why, but hey ho.

Hugely character driven, every actor in this film plays their role to a tee, especially the two female leads. And if you’re expecting a film where everything is explained, then this isn’t what you’re after.

7/10 - would have been 8/10, but the last 5 minutes of gushy Hollywood bullshit knock it down a point. It was doing so well until that point.

IMDB // Wikipedia // Rotten Tomatoes

I suppose I should really try and resurrect this blog, I used to love doing it, but it’s been 7 months since I ripped into Star Trek: Into Darkness. Onwards and upwards.
What a letdown Gangster Squad is. Reviews had told me so; my friends had told me so; even the cat walked out of the room. With such a strong cast I believed nothing could hold this film down, it would be an instant classic like The Untouchables or L.A. Confidential. It was not.
Firstly, the story is predictable. Very predictable. The cast, underused. Backstory? What backstory?

Here’s a bad man. He’s a very bad man. He needs taking down, but we need good honest cops. Montage of gathering good cops, even including a token black guy! Wow! They take him down, slowly but surely. The nerd guy asks too many questions so they leave him alone for one of the missions. He is killed. They get the bad guy. The end.

Seriously, it’s just the Untouchables but much, much worse. It makes me angry just thinking about it.
2/10 - don’t bother, just watch the Untouchables.
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I suppose I should really try and resurrect this blog, I used to love doing it, but it’s been 7 months since I ripped into Star Trek: Into Darkness. Onwards and upwards.

What a letdown Gangster Squad is. Reviews had told me so; my friends had told me so; even the cat walked out of the room. With such a strong cast I believed nothing could hold this film down, it would be an instant classic like The Untouchables or L.A. Confidential. It was not.

Firstly, the story is predictable. Very predictable. The cast, underused. Backstory? What backstory?

Here’s a bad man. He’s a very bad man. He needs taking down, but we need good honest cops. Montage of gathering good cops, even including a token black guy! Wow! They take him down, slowly but surely. The nerd guy asks too many questions so they leave him alone for one of the missions. He is killed. They get the bad guy. The end.

Seriously, it’s just the Untouchables but much, much worse. It makes me angry just thinking about it.

2/10 - don’t bother, just watch the Untouchables.

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Before you read this review, read this one for Star Trek (2009).
After being wowed last time and forgiving JJ for writing some of the most clichéd scripts in movie history, I went last night on a date night to go see Star Trek: Into Darkness. I’d secured my trousers as last time they’d well and truly been taken last time and settled in.
I wish I hadn’t bothered.
Let’s put it this way: it’s boring, it’s not subtle, it’s obvious. It’s so mind-numbingly obvious that I could have walked out half way through and summed up the film on a napkin whilst in the pub down the road.
It’s nothing new, it’s nothing special. Not even Mr Cumberbatch could rescue it, although that may have something to do with him being restricted by such a one-dimensional character.
This is a storyline written by a 14 year old more interested in the slightly chubby but yet quite good looking neighbour. He could put more attention into the script making sense, but it’s better to “accidentally” be on the front lawn, counting from 999 to display how many reps he’s just done.
And let’s not get started on Spock screaming “Khaaaaaaaaan”. George Costanza did it better.
3/10 - read the wikipedia article, and save yourself some money and time. JJ Abrams you have tricked me for the last time!
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Before you read this review, read this one for Star Trek (2009).

After being wowed last time and forgiving JJ for writing some of the most clichéd scripts in movie history, I went last night on a date night to go see Star Trek: Into Darkness. I’d secured my trousers as last time they’d well and truly been taken last time and settled in.

I wish I hadn’t bothered.

Let’s put it this way: it’s boring, it’s not subtle, it’s obvious. It’s so mind-numbingly obvious that I could have walked out half way through and summed up the film on a napkin whilst in the pub down the road.

It’s nothing new, it’s nothing special. Not even Mr Cumberbatch could rescue it, although that may have something to do with him being restricted by such a one-dimensional character.

This is a storyline written by a 14 year old more interested in the slightly chubby but yet quite good looking neighbour. He could put more attention into the script making sense, but it’s better to “accidentally” be on the front lawn, counting from 999 to display how many reps he’s just done.

And let’s not get started on Spock screaming “Khaaaaaaaaan”. George Costanza did it better.

3/10 - read the wikipedia article, and save yourself some money and time. JJ Abrams you have tricked me for the last time!

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I love Ryan Gosling. If I were a teenaged girl I’d probably say I ‘heart’ him, but I’m not, so I won’t. I remember first watching him in Blue Valentine and thinking, this guy is going to be massive. It’s probably because, despite his career, he comes across as quite subdued. He doesn’t seem to act like a typical Hollywood actor. He seems like a nice guy.
I didn’t quite realise as I walked into the cinema that it was the same director as Blue Valentine but there’s clearly a rapport between him and his star. Quite like the running themes of fatherhood and legacy.
And so the review; this film is fantastic. I would consider it an epic. I had no idea what to expect when I started watching it, but even at its two hour twenty minute running time, I wasn’t bored once. At times the film felt like it was written for me.
I won’t say much more, because although there isn’t much to give away, it’s better to go in fresh. And go in you should. Everyone should see this movie and I plan on doing my darnedest to tell all my friends about it.
9.5/10 - I doubt I’ll see a better film this year.
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I love Ryan Gosling. If I were a teenaged girl I’d probably say I ‘heart’ him, but I’m not, so I won’t. I remember first watching him in Blue Valentine and thinking, this guy is going to be massive. It’s probably because, despite his career, he comes across as quite subdued. He doesn’t seem to act like a typical Hollywood actor. He seems like a nice guy.

I didn’t quite realise as I walked into the cinema that it was the same director as Blue Valentine but there’s clearly a rapport between him and his star. Quite like the running themes of fatherhood and legacy.

And so the review; this film is fantastic. I would consider it an epic. I had no idea what to expect when I started watching it, but even at its two hour twenty minute running time, I wasn’t bored once. At times the film felt like it was written for me.

I won’t say much more, because although there isn’t much to give away, it’s better to go in fresh. And go in you should. Everyone should see this movie and I plan on doing my darnedest to tell all my friends about it.

9.5/10 - I doubt I’ll see a better film this year.

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Uncharacteristically this is going to be a long review and if you just want the usual quick fix, here it is: it’s crap.
Onto the review.
I’m a fan of comic book films, always have been. I like being able to lose myself in a fantasy world and truly letting go of major plot flaws for the sake of the effects and wild story lines. But Iron Man 3 was just too much. It was awful. As I walked out of the cinema I uttered to my friends, “That was worse than Prometheus”. That’s how bad it was.
In fact it was worse than Cosmopolis too (despite the rating).
Where to start… Well firstly, the film is backwards. The man who is bringing justice to the world by holding those accountable for their horrific war crimes is the bad guy. He’s also the man who has created a serum which fixes human beings. Again, he’s the bad guy. The good guy is the bellend millionaire, who doesn’t share well, living in a huge mansion with his trophy wife threatening lesser countries with war. Seriously.
Then there’s the story, as old as time itself. A genius scientist comes up with a serum and offers it to one of the worlds leading men who, because of his giant ego, ignores it and goes and sleeps with a woman he barely cares about. No, we’re not talking about Batman Forever, this was Iron Man 3. In fact, it would take a lot to make this film to be anywhere near Batman Forever.
Oh, and he now has a new suit which he controls by listening to Christmas music, dancing really badly and then moving his hands. You wouldn’t believe it, but this is a major plot line. The suit. The suit which he controls with his magic hands. It’s massive. Huge.
I once went out with my friends a few years ago. I’d started a new job and two weeks in we went to a pub. I drank. A lot. And after 8 or 9 pints I went to the toilet, where I proceeded to throw up everywhere and then fall asleep. I woke up to a man knocking on the door and so I readied myself for the exit, opened the door to be met with such horror on this poor mans face who must have seen/smelt/felt the terror behind me, he just walked out. I carried on drinking. I even fell asleep on the street and had to be dragged to the pavement.
I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover of my life. I’ve never topped it. I couldn’t move for fear of either vomiting all over myself or losing bowel control - it was agony. After hours of laying in a cold sweat I managed to settle myself down and get into the toilet. As I sat in front of the toilet, hunched in agony, I wished my mum was there to tell me it was ok. Tears streamed down my face as I gently sobbed and relived the hazy memory of the previous night’s escapades. As my mouth filled with saliva, indicating imminent puking, I felt the bile work it’s way up my chest and with brute force spew out into the bowl. It was awful.
There was a point in Iron Man 3 when Don Cheadle saves the President of the United States. He is stringed up wearing the “Iron Patriot” model of the Iron Man suit and as he lands and the music kicks in and the bald eagle flies in the background shedding a single tear whilst drenched in the American flag, I realised I’d rather be on that bathroom floor, crying for my mother.
It was that bad. And don’t even get me started about Pepper Potts dying, but not dying and coming back to save Iron Man from the dead and it’s all so AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHGGHGHGHG!!!!!
The only saving grace was Ben Kingsley. He and he alone is the only reason it gets 1 point.
Utterly pathetic.
1/10
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Uncharacteristically this is going to be a long review and if you just want the usual quick fix, here it is: it’s crap.

Onto the review.

I’m a fan of comic book films, always have been. I like being able to lose myself in a fantasy world and truly letting go of major plot flaws for the sake of the effects and wild story lines. But Iron Man 3 was just too much. It was awful. As I walked out of the cinema I uttered to my friends, “That was worse than Prometheus”. That’s how bad it was.

In fact it was worse than Cosmopolis too (despite the rating).

Where to start… Well firstly, the film is backwards. The man who is bringing justice to the world by holding those accountable for their horrific war crimes is the bad guy. He’s also the man who has created a serum which fixes human beings. Again, he’s the bad guy. The good guy is the bellend millionaire, who doesn’t share well, living in a huge mansion with his trophy wife threatening lesser countries with war. Seriously.

Then there’s the story, as old as time itself. A genius scientist comes up with a serum and offers it to one of the worlds leading men who, because of his giant ego, ignores it and goes and sleeps with a woman he barely cares about. No, we’re not talking about Batman Forever, this was Iron Man 3. In fact, it would take a lot to make this film to be anywhere near Batman Forever.

Oh, and he now has a new suit which he controls by listening to Christmas music, dancing really badly and then moving his hands. You wouldn’t believe it, but this is a major plot line. The suit. The suit which he controls with his magic hands. It’s massive. Huge.

I once went out with my friends a few years ago. I’d started a new job and two weeks in we went to a pub. I drank. A lot. And after 8 or 9 pints I went to the toilet, where I proceeded to throw up everywhere and then fall asleep. I woke up to a man knocking on the door and so I readied myself for the exit, opened the door to be met with such horror on this poor mans face who must have seen/smelt/felt the terror behind me, he just walked out. I carried on drinking. I even fell asleep on the street and had to be dragged to the pavement.

I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover of my life. I’ve never topped it. I couldn’t move for fear of either vomiting all over myself or losing bowel control - it was agony. After hours of laying in a cold sweat I managed to settle myself down and get into the toilet. As I sat in front of the toilet, hunched in agony, I wished my mum was there to tell me it was ok. Tears streamed down my face as I gently sobbed and relived the hazy memory of the previous night’s escapades. As my mouth filled with saliva, indicating imminent puking, I felt the bile work it’s way up my chest and with brute force spew out into the bowl. It was awful.

There was a point in Iron Man 3 when Don Cheadle saves the President of the United States. He is stringed up wearing the “Iron Patriot” model of the Iron Man suit and as he lands and the music kicks in and the bald eagle flies in the background shedding a single tear whilst drenched in the American flag, I realised I’d rather be on that bathroom floor, crying for my mother.

It was that bad. And don’t even get me started about Pepper Potts dying, but not dying and coming back to save Iron Man from the dead and it’s all so AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHGGHGHGHG!!!!!

The only saving grace was Ben Kingsley. He and he alone is the only reason it gets 1 point.

Utterly pathetic.

1/10

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

If this film didn’t have Colin Farrell in it, I’d have probably watched it sooner. When I first watched a film starring Mr Farrell I thought, god, why do Americans insist on doing a bad Irish accent? Then I found out he actually IS Irish and I’ve avoided his films ever since.
Alas, I sat down on a cold Sunday evening with a girl and she surprisingly picked this to watch! Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a bit good.
If someone were to explain the premise, you’d imagine it wouldn’t be as exciting as it is, but the script-writing is top-notch and really pulls the film brilliantly together.
Even Mr Farrell was good, but not as good as Brendan Gleeson.
8/10
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

If this film didn’t have Colin Farrell in it, I’d have probably watched it sooner. When I first watched a film starring Mr Farrell I thought, god, why do Americans insist on doing a bad Irish accent? Then I found out he actually IS Irish and I’ve avoided his films ever since.

Alas, I sat down on a cold Sunday evening with a girl and she surprisingly picked this to watch! Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a bit good.

If someone were to explain the premise, you’d imagine it wouldn’t be as exciting as it is, but the script-writing is top-notch and really pulls the film brilliantly together.

Even Mr Farrell was good, but not as good as Brendan Gleeson.

8/10

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

This review is more a story than a review, but the review is somewhere in there.
According to my friends, I should have watched this. Some even think I did a long time ago. And when inevitably one of my friends would bring it up, I would nod, start laughing and say “yeah, hahaha” a lot. I didn’t know if I had, all these movies roll into one.
So whilst I had some downtime I stuck it on and prepared to either realise I had already seen it or that all of my friends jokes made sense.
It’s… alright. Nothing special, funny in some moments, cringeworthy in others. The story is a ridiculously clichéd and so predictable you probably already know it. After watching it, I stuck the kettle on, thought about what I’d just watched and decided to give it a 6/10.
Then I met my friends. After announcing I’d seen it, they all started laughing. McLovin’ this, McLovin’ that, remember when the guy did this, remember when the cops let the guys shoot stuff and on and on it went. And I started laughing.
This went on for a while and the more I thought about it, the faster it became apparent that this is a buddy film - you watch it with your mates with a few beers and/or illegal substances. Superbad isn’t a film for the forever alone.
Whilst the sharing of the movie with friends probably doesn’t raise the scoring much higher, it does make it much more enjoyable. Watch it with some buddies, order pizza, have a wild time.
7/10
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

This review is more a story than a review, but the review is somewhere in there.

According to my friends, I should have watched this. Some even think I did a long time ago. And when inevitably one of my friends would bring it up, I would nod, start laughing and say “yeah, hahaha” a lot. I didn’t know if I had, all these movies roll into one.

So whilst I had some downtime I stuck it on and prepared to either realise I had already seen it or that all of my friends jokes made sense.

It’s… alright. Nothing special, funny in some moments, cringeworthy in others. The story is a ridiculously clichéd and so predictable you probably already know it. After watching it, I stuck the kettle on, thought about what I’d just watched and decided to give it a 6/10.

Then I met my friends. After announcing I’d seen it, they all started laughing. McLovin’ this, McLovin’ that, remember when the guy did this, remember when the cops let the guys shoot stuff and on and on it went. And I started laughing.

This went on for a while and the more I thought about it, the faster it became apparent that this is a buddy film - you watch it with your mates with a few beers and/or illegal substances. Superbad isn’t a film for the forever alone.

Whilst the sharing of the movie with friends probably doesn’t raise the scoring much higher, it does make it much more enjoyable. Watch it with some buddies, order pizza, have a wild time.

7/10

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Ignore the five stars on the poster, ignore the 6.1 rating on IMDB and ignore the 68% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I wish I had.
This could have been a great film, it certainly starts off quite well if a little clichéd. But then it just turns into another gore induced, how-much-blood-and-guts-can-we-get-away-with horror film.
The only reason why I kept going was because Katharine Isabelle is incredibly hot and I wanted to see if she got her boobs out. She does not. And what the hell was with that weird “Betty Boop” woman - enough to put me off my tea…
If you do fancy a bloody and gory film, go find an 80’s zombie flick - this really isn’t worth it and the story falls apart quite early on. A shame.
3/10 - all three points for Katharine Isabelle and her amazingly cute face
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Ignore the five stars on the poster, ignore the 6.1 rating on IMDB and ignore the 68% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I wish I had.

This could have been a great film, it certainly starts off quite well if a little clichéd. But then it just turns into another gore induced, how-much-blood-and-guts-can-we-get-away-with horror film.

The only reason why I kept going was because Katharine Isabelle is incredibly hot and I wanted to see if she got her boobs out. She does not. And what the hell was with that weird “Betty Boop” woman - enough to put me off my tea…

If you do fancy a bloody and gory film, go find an 80’s zombie flick - this really isn’t worth it and the story falls apart quite early on. A shame.

3/10 - all three points for Katharine Isabelle and her amazingly cute face

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

A while back I went through a Paul Rudd phase and one night I saw this on TV around 30 minutes in. I was going to watch it, but thought better of it - best to start from the beginning. Sure I could have watched it with +1 but it wasn’t in HD so f*ck that.
The thing about Paul Rudd is he’s just so damn easy to enjoy. You want him as your best buddy. And this is a film about bromance so you really get to feel what it would be like if he was your friend. And he’d be pretty sweet!
As per usual, we won’t go into too much depth but it’s safe to say this is a good film about the perils of being a dude with no other dude friends. We all know that feel.
Clichéd? Of course! But don’t let that ruin it for you and that girl you keep inviting over and not making moves on.
7/10 - the scene where Rudd leaves a message for his new friend is absolute GOLD.
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

A while back I went through a Paul Rudd phase and one night I saw this on TV around 30 minutes in. I was going to watch it, but thought better of it - best to start from the beginning. Sure I could have watched it with +1 but it wasn’t in HD so f*ck that.

The thing about Paul Rudd is he’s just so damn easy to enjoy. You want him as your best buddy. And this is a film about bromance so you really get to feel what it would be like if he was your friend. And he’d be pretty sweet!

As per usual, we won’t go into too much depth but it’s safe to say this is a good film about the perils of being a dude with no other dude friends. We all know that feel.

Clichéd? Of course! But don’t let that ruin it for you and that girl you keep inviting over and not making moves on.

7/10 - the scene where Rudd leaves a message for his new friend is absolute GOLD.

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I dislike Star Trek. I dislike JJ Abrams. I dislike Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine. I bloody hate Damon Lindelof. There is nothing about this film that makes me want to watch it. Even the glowing reviews did nothing for me.
Step forward my ex-housemate and his tenacious approach to have me see this film. Fair play, I hold my hands up, it was brilliant.
As a non trekky, I didn’t get the in-jokes and some of the banter but it’s written so well you don’t have to know everything about the Star Trek universe. And the casting is excellent too; despite disliking the main characters, they fit the roles so well I can forgive them for the past sins.
On top of it all, I re-watched this recently with a girl and she loved it. A great contender for a rare date night for those who are forever alone…
8/10
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I dislike Star Trek. I dislike JJ Abrams. I dislike Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine. I bloody hate Damon Lindelof. There is nothing about this film that makes me want to watch it. Even the glowing reviews did nothing for me.

Step forward my ex-housemate and his tenacious approach to have me see this film. Fair play, I hold my hands up, it was brilliant.

As a non trekky, I didn’t get the in-jokes and some of the banter but it’s written so well you don’t have to know everything about the Star Trek universe. And the casting is excellent too; despite disliking the main characters, they fit the roles so well I can forgive them for the past sins.

On top of it all, I re-watched this recently with a girl and she loved it. A great contender for a rare date night for those who are forever alone…

8/10

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

The film that started my teenage crush on Helen Hunt - the scene with the wet t-shirt, how could anyone say no?
A brilliant and witty plot based around OCD / bi-polar / obsessive Melvin Udall, played superbly by Jack Nicholson, and his infatuation with a waitress.
It would be difficult to even attempt to describe what happens in the film, but rest assured it’s not muddled whatsoever when you get down to watching it. A serious contender for the best film to watch for the forever alone.
9/10
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

The film that started my teenage crush on Helen Hunt - the scene with the wet t-shirt, how could anyone say no?

A brilliant and witty plot based around OCD / bi-polar / obsessive Melvin Udall, played superbly by Jack Nicholson, and his infatuation with a waitress.

It would be difficult to even attempt to describe what happens in the film, but rest assured it’s not muddled whatsoever when you get down to watching it. A serious contender for the best film to watch for the forever alone.

9/10

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Pretty much every friend I have told me how great this film was. I’d somehow avoided it at the cinema but got given it for Christmas and so in the mellow aftermath of the festive period, I sat down and stuck it on.
And it was ok.
The action scenes are amazing, the fighting choreographed phenomenally well but in all honesty, it’s just too predictable. Good guy goes into a tower block run by a gang, the leader is at the top, he must reach the leader. Like an 80’s platform game it’s all very apply, rinse and repeat.
To top it off, I didn’t really care about the lead character. And the best character, Mad-Dog, was on the bad side!
If you fancy watching a very macho, gung-ho fighter then yeah sure it’s worth a watch, but otherwise there’s probably other films that are just as good.
6/10 - it was going to be 5, but Mad-Dog raised it.
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Pretty much every friend I have told me how great this film was. I’d somehow avoided it at the cinema but got given it for Christmas and so in the mellow aftermath of the festive period, I sat down and stuck it on.

And it was ok.

The action scenes are amazing, the fighting choreographed phenomenally well but in all honesty, it’s just too predictable. Good guy goes into a tower block run by a gang, the leader is at the top, he must reach the leader. Like an 80’s platform game it’s all very apply, rinse and repeat.

To top it off, I didn’t really care about the lead character. And the best character, Mad-Dog, was on the bad side!

If you fancy watching a very macho, gung-ho fighter then yeah sure it’s worth a watch, but otherwise there’s probably other films that are just as good.

6/10 - it was going to be 5, but Mad-Dog raised it.

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I recall seeing the poster for this and dismissing it as some stupid kids movie. I hadn’t seen any trailers, no reviews, no hype - I’m really not quite sure why I even watched it.
It may have been something to do with the fact that the girl I watched it with likes feel-good animated films. She’s 32.
Anyway, it was amazing. Surprisingly amazing. I know there’s obvious correlations with the Toy Story series, but they can be overlooked. It may be something to do with the nods to the games I grew up on or the fact I love video games but it really did everything so well. They even got the female lead right!
And whilst it’s easy to evoke an emotional attachment to toys and game characters for us in the mid-20’s, the climax of the whole film gave me a bad case of the feels. A really bad case. Lumpy throat, eyes welling up - for goodness sakes.
8/10 - a fantastic watch.
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I recall seeing the poster for this and dismissing it as some stupid kids movie. I hadn’t seen any trailers, no reviews, no hype - I’m really not quite sure why I even watched it.

It may have been something to do with the fact that the girl I watched it with likes feel-good animated films. She’s 32.

Anyway, it was amazing. Surprisingly amazing. I know there’s obvious correlations with the Toy Story series, but they can be overlooked. It may be something to do with the nods to the games I grew up on or the fact I love video games but it really did everything so well. They even got the female lead right!

And whilst it’s easy to evoke an emotional attachment to toys and game characters for us in the mid-20’s, the climax of the whole film gave me a bad case of the feels. A really bad case. Lumpy throat, eyes welling up - for goodness sakes.

8/10 - a fantastic watch.

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I know this is quite late to the party, I did watch this when it came out, just never got round to writing the review.
I was surprised to hear friends say it was too long and at least half an hour could be cut out of the film - I was left nothing but amazed at the wonderful storytelling and pacing of it all. Yes the idea is quite fantastic, but it is a Tarantino film, so the desire for the spectacular was always going to reign in the western epic.
Needless to say, it’s a fantastic film, perhaps not as great as Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction, but not too far behind.
A special mention to the performance of Chistoph Waltz - as wonderful as the sublime Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds.
8.5/10
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

I know this is quite late to the party, I did watch this when it came out, just never got round to writing the review.

I was surprised to hear friends say it was too long and at least half an hour could be cut out of the film - I was left nothing but amazed at the wonderful storytelling and pacing of it all. Yes the idea is quite fantastic, but it is a Tarantino film, so the desire for the spectacular was always going to reign in the western epic.

Needless to say, it’s a fantastic film, perhaps not as great as Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction, but not too far behind.

A special mention to the performance of Chistoph Waltz - as wonderful as the sublime Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds.

8.5/10

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Why do I do it to myself?
Firstly, I love zombie films. I think they’re great. I especially like the older ones, with the horrible special effects and gore so explicit it’s funny; Day Of The Dead being a prime example.
Which is why when I saw this film being paraded, a zombie film harking back to the old days starring Danny “Fucking” Trejo set on Alcatraz Island, I was sure I was in for a classic! Sure I looked at the ratings, but even they weren’t awful enough to turn me off.
Simply put, it’s awful. Ridiculously awful. As awful as the first time you tried to chat up a girl. In fact worse than that. The only thing that kept me going was it starred French Stewart who I have soft spot for since 3rd Rock From The Sun despite his “acting” abilities.
Don’t watch it - this review is enough to know everything about the film. Honestly.
1/10 (for French Stewart and his monkey)
Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes

Why do I do it to myself?

Firstly, I love zombie films. I think they’re great. I especially like the older ones, with the horrible special effects and gore so explicit it’s funny; Day Of The Dead being a prime example.

Which is why when I saw this film being paraded, a zombie film harking back to the old days starring Danny “Fucking” Trejo set on Alcatraz Island, I was sure I was in for a classic! Sure I looked at the ratings, but even they weren’t awful enough to turn me off.

Simply put, it’s awful. Ridiculously awful. As awful as the first time you tried to chat up a girl. In fact worse than that. The only thing that kept me going was it starred French Stewart who I have soft spot for since 3rd Rock From The Sun despite his “acting” abilities.

Don’t watch it - this review is enough to know everything about the film. Honestly.

1/10 (for French Stewart and his monkey)

Wikipedia // IMDB // Rotten Tomatoes